Saturday, April 22, 2006

The New Dad Manifesto

There's a new lefty tract doing the rounds that some may have come across - the Euston Manifesto - which has lots of well-to-do intellectuals and writers getting themselves in quite a pickle over who is the hardest, least reactionary and most ready to go to war...

Give it a read if you can as I think that apart from the obvious omission of environmental issues and the war stuff, it's not a bad read. But in response, I'm going to be attempting a 'New Dad Manifesto' here on the Dad Blog. Deep breath. Revolutionary fervour. Don the beret and here we go... First draft.

New Dads will:

1) Recognise that their world has changed
2) Believe that now, the rest of world has to change too
3) Earnestly plead that vomit CAN make an expensive jumper look bohemian
4) Love re-usable nappies with evangelical zeal
5) Try to affect a futile balance between sentimentality and rationalism
6) Make up baby songs that go well but then fall apart with the last stanza
7) Realise that their partner looks more beautiful than ever, especially at 3 a.m.
8) Be struck that hunger has a whole new meaning when it wears a babygrow
9) Look with incomprehension at a breast pump and wonder why they've never seen one before
10) Suddenly wake up to the fact that a pension IS a good idea after all
11) Hanker after more comfortable clothes with built-in baby holders AND a sealable pocket for babywipes
12) Breathe more softly
13) Drink water after getting home from the pub rather than raiding the liqueur cabinet
14) Wear more pink to 'go with the flow'
15) Wonder why they can't get through a film, novel or conversation anymore without their attention wandering irretrievably off to thoughts of the little 'un

Like I said. Draft one. Contributions welcome. In the meantime, here's a smasher of a graphic I saw on the MetroDad blog...

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